Unrelenting News
Wednesday July 1, 2009
Reporter: Oggy the Dwarf



This week, in an Unrelenting News Special Investigation, we remember the mysterious life of the celebrated blood elf, Prince MiKael'thas.

MiKael'thas was recognised by the Kirin Tor for his melodic incantations from a very young age. In 1968, the high council was particularly peeved that the Top 40 Billboard Charts were dominated by Alliance acts such as the female draenei sensation Diana Toss and The Supremes.

Hence came into being a shadowy Kirin Tor plan to combat this alliance perversion of popular culture. Prince MiKael'thas skills were encouraged and he soon debuted as a founding member of the Jack’Toff Five , playing live to a packed audience of teenage screaming orc girls on the Troll Sullivan Show in 1969.

A string of hits followed, including:
The Orc Girl Is Mine
Ain’t No Sunshine in the Pools of Aggonar
I’m a Bad Orc(even though I look like a female blood elf)

The horde anthems
Beat It (Bash it, Smash it good)
Blood on the Dance Floor
Smooth Criminal
Dangerous

A life of excess during the 1970s soon followed as Prince MiKael'thas became the idol of every horde teenager and many alliance kids who identified with the horde principals of rebellion. These feelings were exemplified in the hits:

Thriller
Rock with you (or this troll put rock in ur head good)
Don’t Stop ‘til You Get Enough

By the mid 1980s, Prince MiKael'thas icon status had propelled him to a seat on the Kirin Tor high council. He was present not long after the Second War against disco, when the other members of the high council captured and questioned the infamous “KC” of the Sunshine Band. Whilst he never revealed what the C stood for, Khadgar was grilled about the lost orcs and the events in Karazhan that led to the death of Elvis.

During the Third War, with the Techno invasion of Quel'Thalas, Prince MiKael'thas evacuated as many survivors as he could and burned many of his early album covers to spite the Techno Scourge. He assumed command over the bulk of the surviving high elves (see the fall of Qual’Thalas and the drugs that got the Elves so high in the first place) and renamed his followers blood elves in homage to their murdered brethren. He also managed to salvage the original skull (before plastic surgery) of his only known aunt, Anastacia, from the ruins of Quel'Thalas.



Following the destruction of the first Never Never Land, later to be called Silvermoon, Kael began to notice an emptiness within himself and his brethren, an insatiable disharmony. These dark years persisted with many scandals that only served to drag down the prince of funk. Yet now, with the tragic passing of Prince MiKael'thas, blood elves everywhere have finally found something to rally for and now take pride in their disco dance moves once again.

Todays Weather: Stinkin Hot.